Don't believe me? Well I'll have you know that Bruce Edwards, current head of the CIA assigned this position to me himself! It was directly after my failed bust of a master internet thief. I accidentally almost gave him the codes to over 2000 virtual money vaults across the country. He pulled me aside and told me that my work was too advanced for the job I had at the time and that I would make the other agents jealous if I continued working there. Crazy right! He said that there was only one job that fit my prestigious aptitude: this guarding position. So please run along cititzen. I'm authorized to use force if I feel the secret base is in danger.
Just kidding! Come back! It's been a really long time since I've seen anybody or had someone to talk to. Not even my brother Todd comes to visit. He's the only family I really have anymore. Mom and Dad passed a while back. Todd keeps telling me he'll visit soon.Why wouldn't he want to see me? I'd think he'd be proud of me for being such a vital aspect of the CIA. Oh well. I'm still waiting on that visit from him.
It really does get lonely here sometimes and I get so very bored. What's worse is that there isn't much to pass the time here. Sometimes I like to talk to the birds that land around here. Though not the most pleasant of friends, they do give me someone to talk to, since nobody ever seems to go in or out of the base. It's like it's not even there half the time. At least the birds can be bothered to say hello every now and then. All you have to do is talk to them first. Ever since I've been here, I've gotten quite good at my impressions of them. I can do impressions of the robins, crows, and the sparrows. Still working on my pigeon. Oh well. I think it's time for you to move on, seeing as how you aren't CIA personnel. I wouldn't want to have to use force.
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